When will I. . .be free

Always tormenting myself
With fear, helplessness
Mostly emotion I rarely show

My friends say
"You've gotten too strong so you learned to hold back, but you know you can cry"
Or "You bottle it up until you are at your limit"

I've tried crying
It always didn't work
Unless I'm really upset

Maybe hiding it is wrong
But replying on others
I've done for too long

I need to be able to stand on my own
Without any help
Just by myself

I'm probably clingy to people who are important
To me especially
That fills me with guilt every time I say I'm fine. . .when I truly am not

Too scared to show them the real me
Don't want to be alone though
All alone anymore

Two emotions
That dominate my world
And rarely have space for any other emotions

Probably just overreacting
And being paranoid
Can't help it though

Just me
Being me
No one else but me

Grateful to have friends who care
Truly make my happy for at least a short time
But it will not last. . . .last forever

Friends to me
Are like an irreplaceable treasure
Non one will take them away from me

Set me free
Before I really lose them
I want to at least love with all my heart

Just once is enough
Let me love me for wo I am
And love the precious treasures of mine

When will I be set free?
Before all fades away
Into nothingness